Matt's trip here was amazing. I don't even know where to begin. I was a bit nervous about spending the month with him here. I mean, we've spent time together, but not just doing normal things. I knew (and still know) he's the one I will be with, but it was nice having him here for sort of a trial run. It was nice to come home to have him here in the house. Nice to have him fold the laundry and put it away :)
I know it was only a month and a whole lifetime is a lot different thing. But, we didn't need him here to know that we are going to work. It was just the opportunity to spend time together. Every day when I thought about going home from work, knowing he was waiting there for me, was the most amazing feeling. Everything about it was amazing.
The only thing that wasn't was his episode in the kitchen sniffing up his nose and moaning and complaining about the smell of the Molasses! (He claims it smells like cod liver oil...) Other than that one point, I never really got to the point where I was going to strangle him :)
It was so hard dropping him off at the airport this time... It was hard because it was the 3rd time we've had to part ways and be unsure of when exactly we'd see one another again. I know he will be here soon. Once we get the rest of the immigration under way, we can set a date for the wedding and get everything going for him to move here.
The only thing that made it bearable to leave him was to know that it was the last time we'd have to leave one another.
Sitting in my house right now is pretty bad... I hate walking through it and just seeing little things he left... I teared up over a rolled up Hershey's Kiss wrapper... I'm exhausted, but dreading going to bed. I hate that first night of sleeping in the bed alone after being used to curling up to him.
Secondly, immigration sucks. The whole process is one big, giant... for lack of a better word... clusterfuck. (I love that word/s!) There is so much to do on this next step it is so overwhelming.
And of course, it can't just be cut and dry. Like Step 1: Fill out these forms. Step 2: Send them here. Step 3: Bring these with you. Nooooo... There's like secret forms that I had no idea about until someone else mentioned them to me. And all sorts of other crap that goes along that I just happened upon by chance. I know that it's the US government, so they have to makes things difficult, but do they have to make it THIS difficult?
I know in the long run that it will totally be worth it. I have to keep telling myself that every time it gets really overwhelming.
To top it all off, Matt's parents are being turds about the whole thing. That's about as nice as I can put it. The crappy thing is, I got along very well with them! But his mom is freaking out about him coming out here. Now, not without good cause. He is an only child, and she worries about him. I get that. I 100% get that. But, it seems that sometimes she's just being downright mean about the whole thing. Saying things to him that really upset him. I feel bad too because there's nothing to do, and at the same time, my family is uber supportive and is thrilled about the whole idea. I know I'm not the one moving, but I got both my parent's blessings if I should happen to be the one moving.
On another note, Matt may be coming here in December (fingers crossed.) He's requested the time off work, so we're just waiting now to see if they'll give it to him. He'd be coming for a whole month, which would just be amazing! But, I'm not getting my hopes up too much. Don't want to get all excited and then have it not happen. But, everyone hope for us!
This is the innards, pre topping. Bananas, toffee, and graham cracker crust. I didn't have any digestives to use to make the crust, so I went with the next best thing!
And here's the completed pie! Fresh made whipped cream with shaved dark chocolate on top.
I've never had it myself so I'm dying to taste it!
Yay for new recipes!
I'm not wanting something very traditional. I was thinking something more modern/retro all at the same time... So, this is what I came up with. Of course, the design will change, but that is the general idea of what I want :)
Matt is much better with the whole image thing, but I don't think I did too bad :)
Matt made this video for me yesterday. That's even him playing the guitar in the background. I think I'll keep him :D
- Mood:
chipper
So, we started looking for places to actually have the wedding. We didn't want to spend a whole lot of money, but I know that I am only getting married once, and I wanted to still be able to do something nice, for inexpensive. I started looking for places that we could have the wedding on the island. There are a ton of bed and breakfasts and inns, vacation homes, etc. on the island. I got the idea that we could have the wedding somewhere and also have a night to ourselves there as well.
This morning, I e-mailed 10 different places that I really liked. However, the one that I fell the most in love with was actually one that was the most expensive. However, it AMAZING and SO perfect for the small, intimate wedding that Matt and I want to have.
It is called Harbor Hideaway and it is a 4 bedroom house with beautiful surrounding grounds, with private beach access and a beautiful yard to get married in.
www.harborhideaway.com/
There is an awesome section with pictures, but here is an example of the one that made me know it was the place we would be getting married!
However, as it is the most expensive place I looked at, that presented some problems as far as how we were going to pay for it. For $550, however, we get a place for the wedding, the reception, and a honeymoon place for Matt and I to stay at. Really, it's a bargain for all of those things rolled into one!
So, I called my dad and asked if he'd pay for it. I got a "No, we'll pay for the food." Well, that kind of shot down my idea. At that point, I decided that I wouldn't even go to look at the place. I would look at the other places first, and then look at it last if I didn't love any of the other ones. I didn't want to get my hopes up, just in case.
HOWEVER... After talking to mom, she said that she would pay the $550 for the place, as she thinks it's a total steal! YAY!!!!!!!!!! I actually squealed a little.
While talking to Matt about the property, I actually teared up, thinking about marrying him there, and then sitting on the beach with him after all the people had left, as man and wife, starting our life together in a beautiful setting.
The plan is to get there early, set up for the wedding. The house is large enough that I would have my room and Matt would have his, to get ready for the ceremony. Then, I would walk down the path. Afterwords, food with my close family and friends. And then, after everyone left, we'd have our wedding night in this beautiful, beautiful house (with a Jacuzzi tub!)
Of course, I'm trying to make it simple and inexpensive, and already, mom is trying to convince me to have more bridesmaids and guests! Of course, the area can accommodate it, but still! Moms :) I'm the only girl in the family, so I do deserve something special ;) I guess if she's paying for the place to have the wedding, she can get a little bit more say so.
So, we're going sometime next month to look at the property and plan some things out. On August 9th, I'm going to do a preliminary look at dresses :) So that'll be fun as well.
I really can't believe I've started planning my wedding. As a little girl, I was never one of those that planned or dreamed of her wedding. It wasn't until I knew I would marry Matt that the bug hit me.
I am so amazingly excited to start my life with him. I can't think of anything I would rather be doing with my life, than spending the rest of it in love with him.
- Mood: cheerful
( Here ya go )
It really is amazing, what he and I have with one another. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him.
So, here's some pictures of prezzies! He still hasn't gotten his present yet :( Soon, though!
Here is Aslan pre-enjoying the presents!
Here's Aslan enjoying his part of the present - the empty paper :P
A beautiful card, a cd, a coin purse with kitteh's on it! Chocolate, and a wonderful letter :)
He's the sweetest, ever :)
- Mood:
loved
We are SO on our way!
- Mood: enthralled
Label/Receipt Number: 0308 3390 0001 1415 7317
Class: Priority Mail®
Service(s): Delivery Confirmation™
Status: Delivered
Your item was delivered at 7:01 AM on June 10, 2009 in LAGUNA NIGUEL, CA 92607.
Detailed Results:
 | |
 | Delivered, June 10, 2009, 7:01 am, LAGUNA NIGUEL, CA 92607 |
| Arrival at Unit, June 10, 2009, 6:58 am, LAGUNA NIGUEL, CA 92607 |
| Processed through Sort Facility, June 10, 2009, 1:40 am, ANAHEIM, CA 92899 |
| Acceptance, June 08, 2009, 3:43 pm, OAK HARBOR, WA 98277 |
- Mood: cheerful
SENDING OUT IMMIGRATION PAPERWORK!!!
Yay!!!!!!!
I got the last package from Matt that I was waiting for today. It had his photos and his copies of the biographical information in it. Which means that with the exception of my photo, we had everything we needed. So I went to dad's house, made copies of everything so I could have an identical file of everything I sent them, and then headed to the camera store to get my picture taken.
Then, off to the post office to put it in the mail. The guy asked me if I needed insurance on it, and I said no. The only thing worth value in there is all the time and effort and backbreaking sweat that Matt and I put into doing the whole thing!
And now we wait.
- Location:Home
- Mood:
ecstatic
- Location:Home
- Mood:
okay - Music:Watching SNL
I'm excited, but nervous and scared, all at the same time. I have been researching this process for so long, that I hope that everything goes smoothly. It's already an incredibly long, hard, process, that I don't want there to be any uneccesary snags in the whole deal.
I just want to be with him. I want to hold him in my arms again and know that I don't ever have to let him go. It's what keeps us going... Knowing that after all of this, we will be together.
We just have to be patient... (So, NOT my best trait!)
- Location:Home
- Mood: mellow
OMG! I just bought a plane ticket to go see Matt in October!! I'm flying out of Seattle on October 4th, and my flight lands at 6:25a.m in London on October 5th. And then I come back to Seattle on the 13th :( It's not a really long time, but it's a week, and it's better than nothing. We'd rather spend 1 minute together than have to wait until all of the immigraiton paperwork goes through next year.
I'm so excited!!! I knew I'd be going to London to see him, but now it is totally real!
- Mood: pleased
Ok, well I know what it stands for, but anyway... It's Celexa.
I had my doctor appointment yesterday. Good news is my copay is only $15 now, and Wal-Mart had the prescription in generic form for only $4 for a month supply.
Bad news is, I'm on an anti-depressant. Hopefully it helps some. I have another appointment to see my doctor in 2 weeks. I really like her and I really feel like she listened to what I had to say and didn't just discount my theory that it could have been the Mirena making me a whack.
I'm pretty nervous about taking the medication though. I've never been on an anti-depressant before. And after the Mirena, I'm so damn nervous about drug side effects. I actually had anxiety about even taking the medication in the first place. I'm not excited about it at all. But, like I told Matt yesterday, I just can't go through the anxiety attacks like I was before. I haven't had one in a week and 1/2, but I'm so afraid of them happening again. And my doctor was cool and said that she totally understood that issue. I'm just hoping this helps and I can get back to feeling more like my normal self.
If this one doesn't work, or the side effects are crazy, then she said she'd switch me, but she said it's generally well tolerated, and she prescribes it frequently. (That means there's lots of crazies out there!) Anyway. I'll keep updating. So far, so good, but I only took it an hour and 1/2 ago :P
- Mood: calm
Here's my pretty pretty flowers :)
Here is Aslan, trying not to eat the Azaleas.
- Location:Home
- Mood: loved
I'm having the Mirena taken out at 11a.m tomorrow. I can't wait to have it removed. I really think that it is what has been causing most of my anxiety issues.
I realize that I have a lot going on in my life. Work, Matt, moving, etc. And I know that that is a lot for anyone to deal with. But really, I think that the Mirena has been affecting my hormones so negatively that it just doesn't allow me to cope in the normal way that I would.
I'm going to give it a little while without the Mirena and see how things go. I don't want to go right back on to a birth control becuase I just want to clean my system out. After about a month, if the anxiety and all of the other symptoms are still there and as strong, then I know that there is something else that I need to take care of. And if that is the case, I will cross that bridge when it comes. I don't like the thought of having to be on medication, but I can't live like this anymore...
It was so bad when Matt was here. But of course - I wasn't working, I was on vacation, and I was with the man that I love. Of course the anxiety was at a minimum. I did still have some episodes and had to deal with them, but it was less than normal.
Of course I get to work today and things have been crazy the whole time I've been there. The new girl I just trained is now no longer working because of family troubles and I'm going to have to start training another new person. I'll be training on the med cart starting on Tuesday, and Yay! I get to work alone tomorrow! Perfect. Goddamn job... I swear. I love my residents, I like what I do, but if mangement doesn't get their heads out of their ass and hire some more people, then we're all going to go crazy. Everyone is threatening to quite, and most of the people don't do that only because of the job market out there. They overwork us and they end up wasting money, time and resources by the constant rotation of employees in the damn place. I just want, one day, to walk in to work and not have a person who had to call in, or leave early, or isn't dying, or isn't whining about this or that or something else. It just gets so old... But, I know I have to stick with it. Until the dream job comes along that pays me twice as much an hour, I'm stuck with it. I can put up with it if it means that Matt and I can be together... I can put up with anything as long as it means that someday in the near future, Matt and I will be together. That is what is important. That is my life right now - Matt, and being with him.
- Mood:
frustrated
I just dropped Matt off at the airport about 3 hours ago... I cried, in the middle of the airport as he was holding me in the security check line. I had to leave him so that he could go through and it was awful... I spent about 10 minutes in the bathroom trying to regain my composure before I could stand to walk to my car. I sat in the car for about half an hour then because I knew I wouldn't be about to drive around Seattle if I was crying, especially at night.
I'm at my friend's house in Seattle right now and we're having some girly time. I was tempted just to head straight home, but I'm actually glad I'm not alone. I don't think I'm ready to be alone in the house yet. The memory of Matt being there with me is still a little too fresh...
Tomorrow I'll post some more, do some picture posting, and all that jazz. For now, I just wanted to say that I actually let him get on the plane without having a total breakdown in the middle of the airport.
*sigh* I'm sad... But I know that we have an amazing future together, and that I will have to live on that until I can see him the next time.
- Location:Seattle, Wa, Amy's Apartment
- Mood:
gloomy
Trying not to think too much about having to bring Matt to the airport tomorrow. Kind of hard not to when I do have to do it... I'm not quite sure how I'll get through it, as I'm already battling tears just holding his hand and it's not even tomorrow yet. Thankfully, one of my friends lives in Seattle and she's going to let me stay at her house tomorrow night so I don't have to make the two hour drive back to Oak Harbor by myself right after dropping him off. *sigh* I'm sure that it'll be the hardest thing I've ever had to do...
- Mood:
sad
Matt will be going home in less than a week... Super sad Cass :( However, Matt is considering making this his home, so super happy Cass :)
Just a few more snapshots to share real quick :)
Matt and I at Fort Ebey after a little hike.
Matt and Aslan making friends. I thought Iflie would get a kick out of the look on Aslan's face!
- Mood: enthralled
He's met nearly the whole family and almost all of the friends so far, and they all love him :)
We're just headed out to Bellingham today so I can show him where I went to college. And I made waffles and sausage for breakfast, which is actually the first meal I've cooked since he got here!
Anyway, I'm here, but won't be posting much :)
- Mood:
lazy
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