cass_errol

Being a hopeless romantic really sucks sometimes.  I mean, I have this unrealistic view that I can find a love and it will be all consuming and that that all consuming love will somehow be returned.  Now, I'm not saying that I need that in order to be happy, but I sure as hell want it.  Its hard to explain.  Not because I can't put it into words, but because I think that sometimes it sounds silly.  It sounds like something a child would dream up in their fantasy land.  You meet someone and then all of the sudden you love one another.  Kind of like how they do it in musicals.  Act One - Not in love.  Act Two - Married and live happily ever after.  Now, I'm not so naive that I think that good things don't need work.  I realize that.  I guess I kind of remember what it was like to feel that. 
I've had that.  Troy and I had that.  It was so fast and so all consuming it was a whirlwind of emotion and greatness.  I felt like I had that with Joe, but turns out, not so much the case.  I just want someone to sweep me up in their arms, tell me that I'm their world and they would do anything to be with me.  That I mean the world to them, and that if they didn't have me in their life, they would go crazy, and die.  Okay, well they don't have to say they're going to die, that's a little over dramatic.  But, I think you get the picture.  I can't help it.  I can't help that I'm a hopeless romantic.  And  you'd think that someone filled with as my cynicism as I am wouldn't be that way.  But its always under the surface.  That pessimism is a front.  Deep down in side, I want to be swept off my feet and be loved unconditionally.  I don't hold out much hope that I will have a fairy tale.  But dammit, I'm a girl.  I think girly thoughts from time to time, and I can't help that.